That was end of Sept 2019. I ended things last night saying that I loved him but I couldnt beg him to love me the way I love him and that I hoped hed come back to me and I hoped he was going to be okay.. do you think the No contact rule will maybe push him to get better or am I a horrible person for not staying longer when Ive begged him for things to go back to how they were. Should I continue my silence? Finally he stopped by to get some clothes and to talk for an hour . After the initial relief your ex will feel right after the breakup, the next stages of no contact (usually after a one to three weeks) put your ex in a stage of curiosity. Its as much for you as it is for the guy to learn, recovery, and come to appreciate your value. What are some of the more common examples of how a Moonstruck Girl can get sideways with her emotions? (It was hurtful) on 18 feb he shouted again, a lot ofthings in which he cursed me saying,you wont live happy ever.. N many other things. I got really drunk and called him late that mjght after texting all night and said some mean things . I have heard nothing. Very confused! Well, like I explained above. That can be scary and tough to deal with! How To Show Your Ex You Dont Care Anymore. Dont tell him youre doing the no contact rule. You should do what you fear! Im just wondering whether I should give up and never contact him again. Men are different though. There is a certain degree of trial and error in all of our relationship decisions. Now, we sometimes have this little voice that speaks in our minds. Depending on how things went down between the two of you, your ex may be behaving this way to strike back. I took promise again to not lie n hide but to tell me. If events led to the two of your breaking off a serious relationship, then no amount of rushing around to put it back together again will fix the problem. It makes you appear as the bad guy and then he might go right into the protective mode for her, making him her Knight in Shining Armor. If so when and why should I say. We are talking the power of human physiology and the chemicals coursing through our brains! He asked for a week. Nor should you have complete control over another person. Dont forget, you were (and may still be in his mind) a very important part of his life. So lets take stock of what it might mean if your ex responds this way. If he levels such an accusation, my reaction would be, really? He has me on Snapchat tho and wouod watch my stories everyday I posted . He hasnt replied since and its been 2 weeks hes really stubborn and is very protective of his pride. These are generally the type of men that absolutely love hearing compliments about themselves in relationships. So dont throw away all your hopes. Personally, I think men like this arent very good in relationships. We were in relation for 2 years. N nothing else. He said u want gap, ok I will give u gap, again him calling me, me picking up, talking normal n at some one she gets angry ( he is going through very bad phase but that first allow him to say all this n do all this, u r in a bad phase I am with you, just stopped fuckingg ur sister or if u cant, stopped pretending in front of. Once there is separation, there is a certain part of the brain that just takes on this bad news and it cannot handle it very well. My thought is the grass is greener thing. He is at fault and not having you in his life is his loss. You should start it immediately after the break up, not when dialogue is open and the relationship is seeking to find itself. Later he said I said that because you told such sensitive thing to my mother. I know the very thought of implementing such a tactic can be really frightening for some people. I havent tried to reach out yet Im basically in two weeks of NC if you dont include the songs I sent 5 days ago . He always leaves me, but do sex when I am in front, he calls me his best friend, for relationship his explanation is( he loves me but we dnt hv future cause of different religions), thats why he broke up with me. N later he texted me, saying ur mom is ill, ur grandpa is ill, why didnt to told me? Many dumpees want to know why their ex unfriended them but didnt block them. He text goodnight, good morning to me everyday. What if hes so busy that he wont need me anymore. Now, what does any of this have to do with a guy getting back at you?. THEY ARE CHILDREN. Why? On 1 April he text me, client is asking for files I am send her all the file do you want it? We can never be sure how relationships will jell. I am glad you are finding some peace. Hi all! We have not been able to see each other since March. What if he gets angry because Im having fun?. My ex boyfriend broke up with me 6 months ago. Dont allow him to put the blame on you. Hi Brie, it really is your call if you want to move on or not. He needs to be like ! When you were a small baby and they neglected you for even a few seconds what did you do to get their attention? I stopped bugging him and texting him throughout this time . I have tried to walk at his speed, as it is fine for me. Why do you think I want you to be the one to make the first move no matter what? I am a woman trying to get my ex girlfriend back so I was not sure which of your websites to use. If I implemented the no contact rule incorrectlymeaning not informing him I needed space and just ignoring his text, can I fix it? How on earth does letting him go, take away one of his freedoms? Assuming that your guy has followed the progression I outlined above and is holding resentment towards you for the breakup that occurred you can probably expect the following things to be going on in his mind: You can always expect a little bit of stubbornness to be involved when it comes to someone using silence as revenge. Hi V, so I would suggests that you reach out at day 30 since you were getting along well. My ex cheated on me and left me for her. Does it mean anything that he doesnt view my stories now?? Heck, most people make relationship decisions based on their emotions. Well, while you are discouraged that he hasnt grown a spine and contacted you to at least see how you are doing he is sitting back chanting. After the no contact period is over. But he backfires me, n said no friendship I was very happy with you, but no more, if ur not a joke then I am also not a joke, I said why u r doing like this what has happened I hvnt asked you about her from a long time now. If you initiated the breakup, his insecurities may get the best of him. I know I cheated but I have done nothing but try even tho I got drunk and freaked out . I cnt pretend that I dnt knw anything. Please respond I knw its a big text, but I dnt know how to put in a small way, still I tried my best. So lets dive back into the No Contact world. While it is entirely possible that those three outcomes can occur it is also possible that all three may not occur. In fact, with some guys, thoughts of you may become a little obsessive. In Jan, he said he is ending the promise, as its his life n he decided what will happen in it. But you will discover that as time passes, his attitude and thoughts around the whole breakup situation is likely to evolve. We lived together and got along very well. Read the information on this website about being Ungettable and focus on that, yourself and your children for some time. It just means that with some guys you are going to have to be the one to make the first step. N I keep finding his text to his sister. It could be entirely possible that your ex boyfriend has gone through the following progression. He has said again that we will not be more than friends (something Ive heard a few times before but his actions/words change) so now I am leaving him to work on him and I will work on the things I need to work on. But girl, you have to at least make it clear to him. Required fields are marked *. Maybe not. Lets start out with probably the most likely reason that he may not contact you during no contact, his stubborn nature. Do you think theres a way back for us? You cannot control his actions. So my boyfriend and I broke up a little bit less than a week ago on Thursday, and I havent texted or talked to him since Friday, implementing the no contact rule. He told me repeatedly he was unhappy with her. What does it mean and what should you do? I still havent tried texting or talking to him tho I just sent the song . How Does The Dumper Feel After A Month Of No Contact? You know, he might seem like he doesnt care. Hours of phone call, text. Ive been with my bf ever since shortly after my divorce, 3.5 yrs ago. He and I work in the same building and I didnt wave at him today and he completely blocked me on socials out of nowhere. Better yet, lets refer to it as the Moonstruck Mantra. His failure to even reach out or give you a hint that he is thinking of you could be because he is stubborn or hes proud. But look at it this way, if he choose to go chasing after someone after only a week or two, that says a lot about his maturity and level of commitment. Their status messages are going to show up on your news feed. More often than not, implementing the No contact Rule usually makes your guy want to talk to you more. I caught my boyfriend with his best friend girlfriend having sex and she has 2 kids for her boyfriend but I still love my boyfriend and I want him back I just started the no contact rule I actually blocked his line 3 days ago which I intend unblocking for 30 days but I can get a notification if he tries reaching my line. I dont know what to do for the best. Wondered if you could advise. Such relationships are usually doomed to fail. Then he cut off all the contact with me and didnt reply me. after on 1 March. And yet, that simple idea turns out to be one of the hardest things to successfully complete when it comes to the ex recovery process. the last 5 I loved- got seriously involved with someone new in less than 2 months after we broke up. We have talked about it a bit already. To him he just needs to get his head straight but wouod love to take him out to dinner . Slowly you are building value in his eyes. I never stopped him, cause I though his actions n words are different, n his words doesnt mean anything. Why would he even feel the need to get back at you?. I guess I got used to the idea of having her around and overlooked her want and need for affection. Well, if you have not done so yet, this is the time for you to send him a great initial contact message. Why? Over time, it plays over and over again. It was a rocky one, but the high was worth the pain. I said, I preferred ro loan him money myself and he flipped, basically interpreting it as if I rejected him at him time of need. Leverage the remaining feelings he has for you by making him see you in a different light. It has saved my life. He has a very busy job and is doing other projects outside of work so tends to be busy. If your ex is contacting you during no contact, the odds are extremely high that they want to see you and are thinking they want to get back together with you if you will have them. So based on that, 21, 30, or even 45 days of No Contact is usually too soon a period for him to move on. Then in August, he called it off saying there is no future and that he cant give me one. Ok..no reason to panic. You see, most men make relationship decisions based on their emotions. So you dont want him thinking you have moved on and that his name is dead to you forever. What do I do ? I received that question from one of the commenters and it got me thinking. Remember Chris teachings. This is a question I get all the time. She is likely to experience significant grief during this time of no contact. And it allows you to maintain your dignity and leave the conversation in a position of power. In one sense, you are not freeing him up. Is he hating me more? He may be angry somewhat because he has grown accustomed to the friends with benefits situation. I have just started NC for 30 days with a guy who is dealing with a lot of stuff & while deep down I believe he loves me as he will come back when he is feeling better and remembers nostalgic memories/things Ive told him from the time weve known each other but when things are bad for him he goes in self-sabotage, self-destruct and generally hates everyone and everything. People have a tendency to only remember the bad stuff about the relationships towards the end. While those emotions may be negative they are still emotions and if you play your cards right you can turn them in your favor. If he contacts me then he contacts me. An old flame can actually help your ex boyfriend realize the value you have. Its sort of a self toxic form of behavior. He left for 3 days, then returned to make things better. So lets start first with the language we are using when we talk about this stuff!. He was amazing with my kids and all 5 kids got along for the most part. He is in incest since teenage, I found out about it, he promised several time to stop it but nope. Well, I am so glad you asked! I am very hurt at how he interpreted my actions, how he treated my home and children, and me disrespectfully, but I feel that I still love him and want him back. Please help! I bet you never thought of your ex has a science experiment! Does this mean that the no contact failed? Its hard to stay out of sight now if you are active in social media and if you read Chris posts and books, you will find a wealth of information about how to keep him thinking about you. Those who are immature or have little experience with relationships can sometimes act impulsively. And that gets you nowhere fast! I know NC is hard, but as you will learn in my program, much of your efforts during NC is to focus on you and your recovery and you will be little good to yourself or in your efforts to get her back if your head is not right! If he does, you wont be reciprocating. It was not until the last month or 2 of our relationship when we started fighting. The truth is he probably trying to figure things out. He could barely talk to me. This was blamed on me. This is a question I get all the time. I am a single mom of a daughter who is not his child and Im done Im going in circles in a relationship that Im even unsure if there will be an end I.e marriage. But it empowers you to know why and to know that he is missing you as much or more. I am not ur enemy? However, after your 30 days are completed he hasnt contacted you and you are left feeling pretty depressed. I got myself free. Better to stay away if he doesnt reach out! So, you just stopped replying to him all of a sudden. The next thing I do is answer as many comments on this site as possible. As always, remember our mantra: Let him be. That would just probably push him away and he would have a right to feel angry. If your ex is constantly viewing your profile and posts, it might be time to take action and block them . This is something I have talked about numerous times throughout this site so it only makes sense that I talk about it again here. This could have the opposite effect of what your are trying to achieve in that you could be unintentionally making the pursuit of his old flame even more exciting for him. Fights n fights, he started saying, he doesnt feel relaxed with me, he is not open with me now, because I dnt trust him n nag him to tell me if something happens as promised, fights fights, this time in dec 2018 he blamed me for the failure of the startup, he blamed me for not being there for him n with him. Today I texted him to check (office) as I didnt wanted him to miss the project enquiry. I asked if I could ever win her love back and she said she had to walk away for her own good. You remember the chemistry of our brain and all of the precious memories that are shared between you and your ex. I have found this to be a frequent concern with many women and the very thought of it can dig right into your soul. Thats just his way to get you to text him. However, I would suggest that your reach out text should be in line with the style that Chris suggests and how to get him talking to you about something that would interest him. And as a result, he will want you more. I am thinking if he would want me then he can call me or text me on whatsapp. Think about what you have to gain. So, that means he moved on from you right? I know he was getting annoyed he said he loves me but cant ever be with me . Instead, wait about three hours to text or call him back or 24 hours to email. In the beginning he was periodically call me and text me very little now that Im at this point he has been calling me every day as often as multiple times a day. While I cant always answer everyone I try my very best to. So wouldnt using the No Contact Rule just give him the idea that Im fine with that and then hes free . Ok, so most men are more than happy to feel victimized if they were the one who had to initiate the breakup. He can be upset he ended the relationship and now he is feeling the loss of you! No stalking. That it. I said then u were you being nice all these days he says it was cause if your mother she home now. Remember, youre not doing anything bad. Technically this guy is not an ex.. we met back in 2014 and talked for months over the phone but never hung out he ended up getting back together with his high school sweet heart than in 2016 they broke up again and we talked he ended up getting back together with her finally in 2021 we matched on tinder he was still with her and ended up ghosting me months later he contacted me on a Facebook I didnt use.. we than matched on tinder again and he messaged me saying they had broke up three months prior and she had moved to another province.. I think NC as practiced in the way I talk about in my program will help immensely. Now, I do want to be realistic. But also talked about how he should have made more effort. The whole situations feels so helpless at this point :((. You are left feeling pretty depressed the truth is he probably trying to figure things out, if want! Relationships towards the end he should have made more effort wouod love to take action and block.... 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