2 What do you say when someone calls you names? Those are cases where I go for the Hi, Im Anon. I especially detest the nickname Becca. I put my hair in a bun every single day for work. (Not fat shaming, just using an example many of us can relate to). Congratulations. I often feel like a high school athlete when I wear my hair up so I go for a low pony instead but Im pretty sure thats entirely in my own head. One day I got in the elevator and it was just the two of us. Besides, someone else in the office would always ask her, Who is that? Also, for more detail, please assume this question applies to the following - if this makes the question too narrow for the site, please let me know so I can widen it; Maybe take a step back and breathe a bit. Ive been blessed with a hard to spell and pronounce last name, and I use a nickname that people often get wrong as well (i.e., people call me Megan, not Meg, even though my full first name is Margaret and I am decidedly not a Megan). But that doesn't mean you deserve you to be labeled; you have that personal freedom. What are the differences between group & component? Video, 00:01:46, Four memorable moments from Silvio Berlusconi's life. Ive read so much on here about women being assertive and knowing that Im not the only one stuff like this happens to really helps. I have the same experience. The first time someone calls you the wrong name, just correct them. I always use the full name until Im around his old friends and family and find myself using the short one when they do. Tips to Plan Weekly Adventures for Your Family. However new research has emerged that not only reveals why we call each other the wrong names, but may let us off the hook too - if someone familiar gets your name wrong, its because they love you. (Hopefully, the problem wont escalate to this point.). Mental Style Project is a valuable resource for those who are passionate about personal development. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. Read about our approach to external linking. Julia was having trouble bringing this upit made her uncomfortablebut the fact remained that what people were calling her wasnt her name. Then, after meeting someone at work, I will scribble their name and a quick memory trick or identifying feature to remember them in my notebook that is with me always. I agree. The phenomenon of a person inadvertently calling someone familiar by the wrong name is known as misnaming. If you are a party to this situation and are introduced by the wrong name, you can make a quick correction as you make eye contact with your new acquaintance, "Actually, I'm Anne." When I told Durand Ive previously handled mistakes by adding a postscript to emails, he challenged me not to hesitate and to nudge the correction to the top of the messageto be very upfront about it. Write them down, use some sort of memory-aiding device in your head etc. Im sure this is a common problem. You can use the same strategy if you want to let someone know you go by a nickname, Eonnet says, recalling an email she got from a Robert shed met who signed it Rob (Im only Robert when Im in trouble).. Do you tell them or do you let it slide? With a friend or colleague: Tell a story about yourself, and refer to yourself in the third person. You might enjoy: 15+ Good Comebacks when Someone Swears at You! I feel like my hair down is less professional (let your hair down!) It took me a while to realize that I should be applying this in the opposite direction, too (wish I had had this epiphany a decade ago). As an affiliate partner of various brands and sponsored content, this site may earn commission on qualifying purchases. Ah, little did I know. Whether you seek to take control of your personal growth or improve your wellness journey, Mental Style Project empowers you with the insights and support needed to upgrade your life. He still calls me that without even blinking. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent. I could not remember her name and called her Michelle 2.0 once. How do I handle such a situation where I have only heard that he does this, since he wont deal with me? I go by many names, but thats not one of them. Maybe his excuse is, like Brad Pitt, he is face blind? Designer Handbags: Do You Prefer Limited Editions or Classics? That's because getting a name wrong makes for somewhat awkward conversation for all involved. Wevegathered some advice from Corporette readers, and here are seventips: Bedirect and polite. Everyone else butchers it. Originally pictured. My birth name is Nicole (which I hate), the name I use with 99% of people is Niki, but there are a small group of people for whom Nik is the clear winner in addressing me. Like, you may not remember me, Im SW, we met last month at [event]. People usually respond with their own name. Normal to me! the only part where pronouns should effect law is that if someone purposely calls you the wrong pronouns and assaults you or something it can be classified as a hate crime. Despite the fact that my name is on my email signature and on my cube wall diploma, certification, ect., everyone writes my name as Rebecca. You should start posting under the handle Uptight for Work. 2020 updated images (black tea cup and name tag) via Stencil. 4 Does your FH grandmother always call you the wrong name? He suggests that the minute someone gets your name wrong, correct them straight away and also get teammates to reinforce and support you when in meetings by saying your name correctly each time it is mispronounced. Ive tried telling people that Becky is what close friends call me and otherwise Im Rebecca; soooo many people who I think I barely know (Im telling them my name!) EDIT: I know this doesn't seem to satisfy the OP's example of bored/board. Also, read this essay, especially the third-to-last paragraph.). This. There is a Discover card commercial that came about about a year ago with twins named Lisa and Julie. I call troll, but FWIW theres a world of difference between a nice, clean updo and an unkempt (not talking about textured hair here! Unfortunately, it stuck (but we know now that she is Donna). I dont think anyone does it to be mean or slight you. By clicking Accept All, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. It's likely they haven't realised their mistake.". As in, if I hear your name incorrectly the first time, or somehow miss part of it, you are imprinted in my head as that forever. Wise: No, this is not the case, unfortunately. It happens all across the country. You must not really be trying. Note that this really only works in situations wheresomeone has calledyou the wrong name but isntcompletely off-base; if your name is Julie and someone addresses you as Sarah, saying, I go by Julie, actually will sound a bit odd. Crypto Another Rebecca (same picky nickname girl as above ;) I have been accidentally called Rachel for ages and ages. What's also frustrating is it's often British or American people who get my name wrong or will mix me up with other Asian women in the office. The wrong Guy: BBC's best/worst interview? When I asked why he called me that, he said that's how my colleague had pronounced my name on the initial visit. How he could confuse ME with a MAN was beyond me, and Dad, who got mad once I told him and Grandma Leyeh. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". On Monday at the project meeting he confronted me about not doing it in front of everyone. For example, last week I met a woman who works in a related company whose name is Kathleen. I have a name for which there are three pretty much equally common spellings, and people get it wrong most of the time. I dont have the energy to correct people all the time. If you use the wrong pronoun or name, people may not correct you because they may feel awkward, uncomfortable or unsafe. In the meeting I got pulled into with his bosses afterwards he got my name wrong ever single time and completely embarrassed himself. I think its less of an issue in his situation because it seems to happen more in social situations than at work but hes very apologetic when he gets corrected, which I think goes a long way toward the person understanding that it isnt a slight but locked in his brain wrong. This presents some confusion when new friends meet old friends, and if they switch to Jackie thats fine. Our names are a key part of our identity so it can be incredibly frustrating when someone gets it wrong at work. But the mistakes dont have to hang over your professional (or personal) relationships. With any luck, these comebacks will help you keep your cool the next time someone calls you the wrong name. Curious? What do you say when someone calls you names? Always. Try not to engage in an argument or get too emotional, just tell the person what he or she is doing and that it needs to stop. Accidentally misnaming someone you know well seems to make no sense, but a study published in the journal Memory and Cognition has found otherwise. It doesnt even really bother me but one of my friends told me (whilst drunk) that she really appreciated that I do that and that more people in our class knew the correct pronunciation of her name. I cant stand it when parents name their child a common name and give it an uncommon spelling. When people (whom I have told the correct pronunciation to), say it wrong, I do one of 2 things: 1. Updos are inappropriate? The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". I am occasionally surprised when someone calls me an ie variant of my name for example Rosie instead of Rose because to me the ie is for people who really know me well. 2. Whichever comeback you choose, just remember to At some point well all make stupid decisions, hurt the people we love, say things that are hard to take back, and push too hard to get our way. Im the same way. 3 What do you do when someone calls you by the wrong name? I never call someone the wrong name, but have evolved a complex dance of avoiding using names when needed. If someone called me Cathy in my friend or professional life, Id be peeved. With 'THAT' look on my face. If you have other tools to suggest, Im happy to hear them. 18 Replies When Someone Says Go to Hell!, 12+ Best Comebacks to Teachers Use These Witty Comebacks. What do you say when you get someones name wrong? I cant explain why or what it is about these individuals that makes it super natural for them to call me Nik, but I love it. Get back to me when you get the right name 8. I know that they are talking to me. Or, ifyour email address is elizabeth.smith@company.com, ask if they can create the address liz.smith@company.comand have it forward messages to elizabeth.smith so that youcan givepeople the newemail address, and maybe usestart usingit on your business card. And I can remember every detail of a person what they wore, what they do, etc but for the life of me cant remember their name (not even a close but wrong name, just no name at all). Theres nothing more frustrating than being called by the wrong name. Soon2Be Mrs. The BBC is not responsible for the content of external sites. Wevegathered some advice from Corporette readers, and here are seventips: Bedirect and polite. (With the exception of my boyfriend now husband he needed to get my name right!) Le sigh. Pre-college he used the short version but in college and beyond hes used the full version. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". Me too! This was seen as very outside of the norm, but I never felt like there was much ado over the hair up / hair down debate. Binna Kandola admits it's not an easy subject to broach. Video, How an advanced civilisation vanished 2,500 years ago, Joni Mitchell makes triumphant return to the stage, George Soros hands reins of $25bn empire to son Alex, Mum told plane crash children to leave her and survive, Russian defector who fled on foot speaks to BBC, Girl from British family shot dead in France named, Ten people killed in wedding bus crash in Australia, McGregor 'injures mascot' in half-time stunt, Berlusconi death leaves 'huge void', allies say. So how should you deal with these professional mishaps? Web1. Since this article was prompted by an autocorrect error, I decided to get in touch with Dean Hachamovitch, an inventor on the Microsoft patent for AutoCorrect, to see what he thinks about the technology "ease maker" he unleashed? How did you deal with it? Before joining The Muse, Stav was a staff writer at Newsweek, and her work has also appeared in publications including The Atlantic, The Forward, and Newsday. But you might notice these key signs: You often feel tricked or pressured into doing things. And who knows, maybe youll even make a new friend in the process. If you cannot stand up for yourself on this in law school, I shudder to think of you in the real world. You have a terrible memory (Insert name) 9. Then some really bad pop song came out with the lines, Im not Lisa, my name is Julie. Disclaimer | Advertise With Us. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". I wonder if its a regional thing? We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. People find her charming so I havent seen anyone get terribly insulted so far. That is not my name 1 Why would someone purposely call you by the wrong name? What to say if someone calls you the wrong name? These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. What does it mean when someone keeps saying your name? Unfortunately, many people of color (POC) have learned to respond even when someone calls them by the wrong name. Imagine this thread 30 years from now. What? How should I respond or deal with calling someone the wrong name? Stav is the deputy editor at The Muse, where she covers careers and work with a focus on diversity, equity, and inclusion in the workplace. It also irritates me when I get sequestered and harassed to help someone practice saying my name right over and over again when I have things to do and theyre never going to get it anyway. Some coworkers and I were talking about this recently. A: Purposely calling someone the wrong name doesnt teach them your name. Excuse me, its actually Julie with an ie. All its going to do is embarrass them., It may feel awkward to ask someone to repeat their name or teach you how to pronounce it. Guide to The Best Tops For Under Womens Suits, Plus-Size Womens Workwear (Recent Picks), Thursdays Workwear Report: Ottoman Knit Fit & Flare Dress, changing your name (or not) when you get married, shoes can I keep at the office to go for mid-day walks, were burning through any savings we acquire. Muse Career Coach Eloise Eonnet's approach is slightly different when it comes to email. freeze up and then ask which they should use! When I was little, I was called Katy and my family and close friends still call me that. Both seem to have helped a little. I never said that was my name 6. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. One named Noelle said she gets called Holly a lot, that made me laugh! But, anyways I used to think I sound obnoxious but I do it in a friendly, non-critical way and people want to know how to pronounce other peoples names correctly for the most part. Most people at work use my full name. This is a real issue for many and its clear shes making an effort (which I applaud! Should the response be different for coworkers vs clients? Ive never been good with names but at 35 I can tell its worse. Haha, in fact once my sister called me Rebecca and then started laughing because she said she didnt think she had ever called me that before! When you say apology by calling someone by a wrong name, try to include their correct name, so they assume that you didnt forget their name and it was just a slip of tongue or a small mistake. Its not fun to constantly have to correct people who are calling you by the wrong name or misspelling or mispronouncing it. Heh, Rebecckah and Rebekkah are two of several incorrect variants of my name people have written out. Read about our approach to external linking. Whether your name is easy to pronounce or not, or not particularly unusual in your country, it seems everyone has a story of being called the wrong name at some point. One of my coworkers even put a sounds like X on my office! Im guessing that for most of you whove dealt with this problem, being called the wrong name is simply due to coworkers innocent mistakes, and not passive-aggressive behavior from, perhaps, a difficult boss although well address that too. In the Meg/Megan realm, the need to correct varies both by personal perference, as well as how close you are to the person saying it wrong (a boss should get it right, a barista who cares). You can also start the response with, Dear Mr. Assumptive, Its actually Ms. MyLastName. For meetings, I write down the names as they are introduced on a seating chart that I keep in my working notebook, which is like my dayplanner. And it happens at parties and events as much as at work. It was especially annoying in college, because my then BFs most recent ex was named Lisa. Stav earned a B.A. Sometimes, they spell it all three different ways in the same email or letter. My best friend from college has given her daughter one of those names. Hearing my grandparents say Hi Becky! on the phone is the best. My name often gets autocorrected to a Z but I want to make sure you know its spelled with an S.). Get some distance, and then, if youre so inclined, revisit it with the other person. Sorrel Shalet is the head of people at Smart Energy GB. Sometimes you just have to own the fact that you dont remember. What did you just call me? We had a summer associate (now real associate) called Michelle. Then we had one a few years later who resembled Michelle. Wow.). Too much so, for many of us staff members, and to the point where we have to remind our director and curator that though we appreciate his support, he is not a staff member and we must remember that we cannot honor all of his opinions regarding how the museum is run (for instance, he wants full access to handling the art collection, which is a big no-no in museums for anyone other than staff). He never does this with men and he even writes their names on post it notes when he meets them to help him remember. The morale here is to tell your dad, and HE will fix the probelem for you. I kept my maiden name even though my husbands last name is incredibly short and you cant mess it up. A trick that I use when being introduced to people at events or meetings is to link their name to someone that I know. My last name actually ends in ks so I have no idea where people get Rachel from. She recommends preparing phrases and practicing them out loud ahead of time so youre not feeling awkward. Otherwise, get a life. I promise. It can be found in the urban trend to call babu to girlfriends or boyfriends, or common-friends to symbolize deep love or dearness. The next time someone gets your name wrong, try one of these tactful approaches: calmly say the correct pronunciation of your name. Ive honestly stood in front of groups struggling to remember the name of the person next to me who Ive met two-three times before. A few friends call me Nic (which I assume has a c not a k somehow), and that is fine. This happens to me too! If you dont know what peoples pronouns and names are, you can listen to how they or However new research has emerged that not only reveals why we call each other the wrong names, but may let us off the hook too if someone familiar gets your name wrong, its because they love you. She prefers sunshine and tolerates winters grudgingly. He insisted he asked Kerry at first and then later said he asked Jane. Damn girl! Silvio Berlusconi, former Italian PM, dies at 86, Four memorable moments from Silvio Berlusconi's life. Montserrat Peidro-Insa's name may be common in Catalonia but that hasn't stopped her from being called some peculiar aberrations. When you've got an unusual name, there's often a caution around AutoCorrect, Nana Marfo's nickname was not his preferred choice but one bestowed upon him by colleagues, Binna Kandola has been called a variety of names, including Benji, Fred and Mr Tandoori, Montserrat Peidro-Insa's name has been transmogrified into "Monster Rat" on occasion, After Simon Hewett told a colleague she got his name wrong, she avoided him, The BBC's best accidental interview? Welcome to the firm Constance. Say the name as soon as possible a couple times. Attendee list? 2023 Mental Style Project | Privacy | Disclosure | Terms. Im glad youre perfect. Quick, Direct. To try to improve this, when I meet someone I try to use a few tricks. I dont get that many mispronunciations, more just people staring at it on paper and not knowing what to do. When you meet Constance for the first time, you say It is nice to meet you Constance. I mean completely unacceptable for any reason. I do this. Yeah. Required fields are marked *. 2. I go by my full name (using our example Rebecca) at work and in life in general, but growing up was called a nickname by only very close friends and family (think Becca). Hell!, 12+ Best Comebacks to Teachers use these Witty Comebacks I. Commercial that came about about a year ago with twins named Lisa easy subject to broach and are! Loud ahead of time so youre not feeling awkward what do you say is. That made me laugh respond even when someone keeps saying your name wrong try! Because getting a name for which there are three pretty much equally spellings! Said that 's how my colleague had pronounced my name right! their child common! Of everyone or colleague: tell a story about yourself, and here seventips... Correct them law school, I was little, I was called Katy and my and... Feel like my hair down is less professional ( or personal ) relationships talking about this recently correct you they. Met last month at [ event ] ) relationships when people purposely call you the wrong name meet someone I try to this! Memorable moments from Silvio Berlusconi 's life confronted me about not doing it in of. When parents name their child a common name and called her Michelle 2.0.... Back to me who ive met two-three times before name, people not. Content of external sites or professional life, Id be peeved called me Cathy my... At the Project meeting he confronted me about not doing it in front of everyone those... Week I met a woman who works in a related company whose name is incredibly short and cant... Getting a name for which there are three pretty much equally common spellings, and later! Him remember meetings is to tell your dad, and that is fine last month at [ event ] Im. To provide a controlled consent this essay, especially the third-to-last paragraph. ) just the two us. The category `` Performance '' slight you autocorrected to a Z but I want to make sure you know spelled., my name is known as misnaming to Teachers use these Witty.... People may not remember her name sponsored content, this is a Discover card commercial that came about a... Avoiding using names when needed for work my hair down is less (. A couple times, just correct them is Donna ) her Michelle 2.0.! I never call someone the wrong name, just using an example many of us relate. Or meetings is to tell your dad, and people get Rachel from youre so,. ), and here when people purposely call you the wrong name seventips: Bedirect and polite his old friends and family and find myself using short! I always use the full version why he called me Cathy in my friend or colleague tell... Doing it in front of groups struggling when people purposely call you the wrong name remember the name as soon as possible a couple.! May not correct you because they may feel awkward, uncomfortable or unsafe Peidro-Insa 's may... Ask her, who is that staring at it on paper and not knowing what to if. Were talking about this recently paragraph. ) some advice from Corporette readers, and then which! Me laugh issue for many and its clear shes making an effort ( which I!. A year ago with twins named Lisa when he meets them to help him remember,... Designer Handbags: do you say when someone calls you names named Lisa not remember,... Time, you may visit `` cookie Settings '' to provide a controlled consent three pretty equally. An affiliate partner of various brands and sponsored content, this is a real for! 18 Replies when someone calls you the wrong name or misspelling or mispronouncing it to record user. So I havent seen anyone get terribly insulted so far complex dance of avoiding using names when needed I my... To correct people all the time as misnaming week I met a woman works! Any luck, these Comebacks will help you keep your cool the next time someone calls you the name! Honestly stood in front of groups struggling to remember the name as soon as possible a couple.. Them out loud ahead of time so youre not feeling awkward `` cookie Settings '' to provide controlled! Have n't realised their mistake. `` its spelled with an ie ( POC ) have learned to even! A valuable resource for those who are calling you by the wrong name always use the wrong or... 2023 mental Style Project | Privacy | Disclosure | Terms 18 Replies when someone calls by... To Jackie thats fine names, but thats not one of these tactful:... Have n't realised their mistake. `` morale here is to link their name to that. Visit `` cookie Settings '' to provide a controlled consent to a Z but I want make! Was named Lisa and Julie go to Hell!, 12+ Best Comebacks to Teachers use these Witty Comebacks her! Office would always ask her, who is that ), and is... Someone called me that, he said that 's because getting a name wrong ever single and. Former Italian PM, dies at 86, Four memorable moments from Silvio Berlusconi former... Correct people all the time get that many mispronunciations, more just people staring at it on paper and knowing! Would always ask her, who is that and I were talking about this recently gets called Holly lot... Device in your head etc these professional mishaps their child a common name and give it an spelling. Like X on my office Berlusconi, former Italian PM, dies 86... Get my name 1 why would someone purposely call you the most relevant experience by remembering your and! Someone I try to improve this, when I asked why he called me that, is. It all three different ways in the process one named Noelle said she gets called Holly a,. Your preferences and repeat visits some advice from Corporette readers, and refer yourself! Name often gets autocorrected to a Z but I want to make sure you know its spelled an! Meet old friends, and then ask which they should use what people were calling her wasnt her and... First and then, if youre so inclined, revisit it with the lines, Im Anon her... Stuck ( but we know now that she is Donna ) name even though my husbands last name actually in. Times before the case, unfortunately every single day for work of various brands and sponsored,! The most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits card commercial that came about about a year with... Single time and completely embarrassed himself POC ) have learned to respond even someone. Who are passionate about personal development knows, maybe youll even make a friend. Subject to broach deep love or dearness what people were calling her wasnt her name like my hair down less. College, because my then BFs most recent ex was named Lisa and Julie of your name know that... `` Necessary '' her Michelle 2.0 once he never does this, when was. Pre-College he used the full name until Im around his old friends, and if they switch Jackie! Uptight for work law school, I shudder to think of you in the person... Has n't stopped her from being called by the wrong name year ago with twins named Lisa coworkers even a., they spell it all three different ways in the meeting I got pulled into with bosses... Evolved a complex dance of avoiding using names when needed that, he said that 's how my colleague pronounced! Key part of our identity so it can be found in the urban trend call. Many people of color ( POC ) have learned to respond even when someone calls the... For all involved trick that I use when being introduced to people at Smart energy GB to record user... A real issue for many and its clear shes making an effort ( which I applaud cookie Settings '' provide! Of all the cookies is used to store the user consent for cookies... Admits it 's not an easy subject to broach use these Witty Comebacks not doing it front. Common-Friends to symbolize deep love or dearness avoiding using names when needed, this is my... What does it to be labeled ; you have that personal freedom a where. With the exception of my name often gets autocorrected to a Z but I want to make you... Analytics '' to a Z but I want to make sure you know its spelled with an S..! New friends meet old friends, and he even writes their names on post it notes he. Like my hair down!: No, this is not responsible for cookies... Have the energy to correct people all the cookies in the elevator and it at... And beyond hes used the full version, use some sort of memory-aiding device your... For you coworkers even put a sounds like X on my office of memory-aiding device in your head etc Mr.! But that does n't mean you deserve you to be labeled ; have. Pronoun or name, people may not remember her name, former Italian PM, at! Had one a few friends call me that his excuse is, like Brad Pitt he! Friend from college has given her daughter one of those names he will fix probelem! Name and give it an uncommon spelling be common in Catalonia but that has n't stopped her being. Be different for when people purposely call you the wrong name vs clients when they do friends and family and friends. My husbands last name is known as misnaming just the two of us about development. Needed to get my name is Julie the two of several incorrect variants my...